Church of Latter Day Saints came to the door.

The other day there was a knock on the front door.

Two, well dressed, polite young men introduced themselves to me.

"Hello, how are you this afternoon sir? My name is Matt and this is Jason and we're going door to door talking about God."

I looked at them blankly.

"Have you ever spoken to someone from the Church of Latter Day saints before?"

I said, "No thanks, I can't talk right now."

"Could we come back at a more convenient time?"

"Sorry, no, I'm not interested."

They smiled and said, "Thank you sir. Have a good day."

I wonder if in their heads as they were walking down our front steps they were thinking, "That poor man is going to Hell. I feel sorry for him and will pray for him tonight."

Blowing bubbles.

The last few days I've been going a bit crazy blowing bubbles for Jake.

It reminded me of a fantasy I had one I was a kid. I imagined that each bubble was it's own universe, with physical laws and living beings and wars etc.

When the bubble burst, the universe ended. Some bubbles lasted longer than others and so these were the lucky "universes". But of course in the end, they would burst. Wind would throw them against a fence or the bubble would lose stability and explode in a rainbow of soap particles.

Naturally, I though that our universe too was a bubble that perhaps someone else had blown us into existence and was watching from an outside meta world that contained other "bubble universes" competing with our own.

Would ours be a long lasting universe? Or would the child stick his finger inside of us just as things got going? We'd see a beautiful rainbow explosion and then everything would end.

Thoughts on Ketchup

I remember when ketchup came in glass jars and it was so thick you had to slap the jar hard. An uncontrolled burst of ketchup would land on your plate. If you didn't shake the jar, a watery substance would leak out.

These days ketchup comes in squeezable plastic bottles. It's no longer thick, but runny. You don't have to shake it anymore.

They've fixed a lot of these ketchup problems, yet somehow there's less satisfaction in eating ketchup. It's too easy.

Spreadable lettuce.

I have a great idea for a new invention.*

Spreadable lettuce. You know how when you leave lettuce in your fridge for a long time, it gets slimy?

Well why not manufacture this process and market it as spreadable lettuce?

It can come in a jar and you just spread it on like butter. It would be sort of a thick, dark green colour, and obviously would have a rich lettuce taste.

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* Actually I stole this from my wife and added a few more details.

Liquid diets don't help you gain weight.

We weighed the kids a couple days ago. Since taking Jake off his liquid diet (last January) he's gained 20% in weight.*

Mason's still growing, but he's slowing down. Now he's only in the 60th percentile. Still big for his age though.

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* Moved from 30th percentile on the down syndrome growth chart to 50% approx.