I want to be a "whisperer".

I want to be a whisperer. A whisperer is a person with an abnormal and remarkable talent for communicating and controlling things.

There's Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer. He has a show on National Geographic. He helps fix the behavioural problems of various dogs. His catch phrases are, "Use calm, assertive energy" and "be the pack leader".

My wife worships Cesar.

There's the horse whisperer - which was a book and movie about a guy who was good at communicating with horses.

I think there's a baby whisperer and ghost whisperer and probably a million more whisperers.

I want to be a whisperer. It would be so cool having a talent like that. But what would I whisper to? A cat? And wouldn't that require spending ungodly amounts of time with animals?

I don't want to spend much time with animals.

Instead, I could be "the Jake" whisperer. Yes, that's it! I'll train myself to be an amazing communicator and influencer on Jake!