Sippy cups are over-engineered.

I hate sippy cups. They're expensive, over-engineered pieces of crap that only work 50% of the time.

When they do work, they break after a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately, right now Jake can only drink from sippy cups - so we have to buy them. We have about 20 of them.

We tried a new one yesterday and Jake wouldn't drink from it. I started getting mad at him. Then Cindy gave me the cup and said you try to drink from it; I tried and did not have enough sucking power in my lungs to get any liquid from it.

That's ridiculous.

Each sippy cup comes encased in a monstrous plastic shield that can only be removed by a chainsaw.

They come in a million different pieces, and you have to read instructions on how to put it together. Invariable, once you've assembled the cup, it leaks.

You can't wash it in the dishwasher or it will warp the sensitive plastic. The nipples are cheap pieces of crap that break when your child bites them.

Can you buy nipples separately? Yes - for the most part. But some sippy cups require that you buy a whole new cup every time the nipple breaks. (!)

Each piece of the sippy cup looks like it could fit in any other sippy cup. So, if you're using and washing 2 or 3 different sippy cups, you have a jumble of pieces that may or may not fit correctly together.

I've taken a picture so you can see this for yourself.

5 Random Things I Hate (part 1)

1) I hate when I'm reading copy on a cereal box or a package and there's a little footnote asterisk. But I can't find the footnote anywhere! I hate that! Don't put the asterisk if there's no footnote.



2) I hate it when people put ice cubes in their coffee because it's too hot. Boo hoo. Your coffee is hot. Cheeses Christ! Just wait a few minutes until it cools down. Better yet, don't buy coffee if you don't want a hot drink.


3) I hate it when people misspell "Brian" and spell "Brain" instead. Brain. Who's named brain? I hate that so goddamn much I will rage on you! Most Brian's aren't even that smart.


4) I hate the expression"free gift!" NO GUFF!! Gifts are free. That's what a gift is. Something you give someone. I'll kill you if you say free gift. All you marketing people are scum. Can you imagine if you told your spouse that for Christmas you got them a free present? You'd be struck in the face.



5) I hate it when people write "BFF" to stand for "Best Friends Forever". First of all, it's a very stupid short form. You only need short forms for phrases you repeat a lot, and why the HELL would you be repeating best friends forever more than once? Also, the whole idea of having a "best" friend becomes ludicrous after the age of 12. Grow up people! Finally, the "forever". NOTHING IS FOREVER! Friends move away, get strange, do drugs, marry idiots and have idiot families. And you have no control over most of this. They probably won't be your best friend forever. In fact, I know they won't because one day they will die and you will die and when you're both worm-meat, the only friends you have are the maggots who are eating your rotting guts!!!