We seek the familiar.

Just finished Dispatches from the Edge by Anderson Cooper. In the memoir he describes the depression he felt growing up as he dealt with the death of his father and suicide of his older brother.

To help ease the pain he went toward more pain. Wars, famines, natural disasters and genocides. He booked the first flight to whatever place in the world happened to have the most suffering. Then he and his camera crew took images of dead children, mangled bodies, ruined villages and destroyed lives.

It seems a bit counter intuitive that someone with so much pain, took a job centered around pain. He explains it as "not having any feeling" during mundane, day-to-day activities. Going to a restaurant, celebrating New Year's Eve, hanging out with friends - all felt unreal to him. He felt nothing. So he jumped at the opportunity to dodge sniper fire or interview grieving parents.

I vaguely remember Oprah once telling a guest that people "do what is familiar to them". If you grew up knowing domestic violence, as an adult you put yourself in a situation with domestic violence because that's what you know.

What a sad fact about life. I would think we'd be enriched if we sought new experiences. Or if we at least recognized that we experienced a bad situation and so we consciously choose not to continue the experience in a different form as we get older.

I guess that's what therapy is for. To discover this for ourselves.