1) I hate when you go to a public bathroom and there's a series of instructional signs about how to wash your hands, step-by-step, with helpful photos. Cmon people. At this stage of the game if you can read and follow instructions but don't know how to wash your hands, you should be killed.
2) I hate when you get a bill in the mail and there's an extra flyer in the envelope, printed on glossy paper, in colour, that explains how the company is so environmentally friendly. Stop killing trees you liars!
3) I hate when restaurants advertise that their food is "made from the freshest ingredients". I hope so! I hope that I'm paying $20 for fresh ingredients! The fact that you're telling me this makes me suspicious of you. Now I don't want to eat your garbage food.
4) I hate it when you buy one item at a store and it prints out a never-ending receipt! Why does a receipt for one item need to be as long as my forearm? Sometimes there's more than one receipt. Why do I need two or more separate pieces of paper! Answer me!
5) I hate it when companies send you letters that say "we missed you!" No. You mean you missed my money. You don't me on a personal level, nor do you care. So tell it like it is! Write me a letter that says "We miss your money!" Always replace "money" with my name in any personal correspondence.
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