Mason is one week old

Mason is now a week old.

He does three things. Sleep. Eat. Cry.

He poops a lot, but I don't count that. He also looks around a couple times a day.

He's a night owl - meaning he's awake all night and demanding to be held. He sleeps all day.

We have to somehow reverse this, but all the books say you can't do much about it for a newborn. He also, at one point, fed 11 hours a day. Yesterday it was down to 9 hours a day.

Jake kissed him for the first time yesterday. He kissed Mason's back, after I prompted him. So cute. Also, Mason has very light, cute blond hair all over his body. I like to tickle it and kiss it.

It feels like we're going away for 2 weeks.

Now that we've scheduled the baby to arrive on Tuesday, we're busy packing and making preparations.

It feels like we're going away for 2 weeks.

Hopefully it's only going to be two days. Last time it was 42 days in the hospital. I think that's probably why I feel like we're going away for 2 weeks.

Also, the hospital claims they don't supply blankets or diapers or wipes. So we have to pack all that crap.

This makes our luggage look HUGE as well. Yes, we have luggage.

I really hope we get a private room. I don't want to share a room with 3 newborns and then try and sleep in a chair beside Cindy's bed. But oh well. I've done it before and I can do it again.

Someone took my shoes.

Yesterday at our neighbour's birthday party I couldn't find my shoes.

I glanced at the feet of one of the guests and he was wearing my shoes. He was standing in the backyard taking pictures of his family.

He was an older gentlemen. This presented me with an interesting, but awkward situation. I had to go up to him and ask for my shoes back.

I don't believe this has ever happened before.

I said, "Excuse me, I think those are my shoes."

He said "Oh sorry!" in an accent and took them off. I put them on and went home.

The never-ending job interview.

I like it when places give you one job interview and then hire you. It's happened once or twice.

(It happened at ipackets. They hired me after meeting me for 20 minutes, but 6 months later they were out of business.)

Unfortunately, that's just not the trend anymore. Now the trend is toward multiple interviews.

On Friday I have my third interview with a big company. This one is a panel interview with all the managers.

I also had to do a grammar test and two writing tests. I also had to show them my writing samples.

The bad news is that it takes forever to go through their hiring process. The good news is that maybe lots of applicants will drop out somewhere along the line and I'll get an offer.

Triple washed vegetables.

Cindy went to Superstore the other day and bought a bag of green beans. I read the bag and it said "triple washed!"

Triple! The beans weren't washed once. That wasn't good enough. Twice - nope not good enough. Three times!

But the funny thing is when I opened the bag, the beans seemed a little slimy. So I had to end up washing the slime off.

That defeats the whole purpose of buying washed veggies.

On the plus side, I guess that means these beans were quadrupled washed.

I hate it when the government bribes us.

In July the BC provincial government and the Ontario provincial government are adding a new tax - the HST - that will increase the rate we pay on lots of stuff.

In Ontario, the government is sending everyone a cheque for a $1000. (I think. That's what I heard, anyway.)

A couple years ago the BC government did something similar with the carbon tax.

This is such an obvious ploy to buy-off the voters. If the government truly wanted to help us save money on the tax, lower the tax rate. Or give a 60 day grace period. Or, best yet, don't even bring in new taxes.

Why spend all that money sending money back to the people who had to send money to the government in the first place?

I napped in the car while at work.

I used to do this when Jake was born. I'd go out to the car at lunch and recline the seat and nap for a half hour.

Then I'd go back to work after my lunch break.

Well I did it today at work - and it felt good. I heartily recommend a good nap.

I was parked in the shade so the sun wasn't too hot. Had the windows cracked open so I'd get a nice breeze.

The kids were playing far away so I wasn't bothered by their screaming voice.

Felt good.

No one really sees you either, because your seat is reclined. The only way is if they came up to your car and looked in the window.

I don't like being publicly acknowledged.

Last week at our annual general meeting, I was publicly acknowledged several times.

I don't like it. Actually, I should say, I don't like it when I'm there. I don't mind being acknowledged when I'm not around. But when I'm there, it's awkward.

I'm never really sure what facial expression to have. Do I grin? Keep stern? Look down? I don't know. I kind of keep my face pleasant and I look at the speaker. During applause I nod my head in a quick thank you.

Sometimes I clap, but then I quickly stop because I realize I'm clapping for myself. However, if I'm being acknowledged along with other people, I do clap and feel it's okay because I'm clapping for them, not for me.

A few times I watched other people who were being publicly acknowledged. They seemed just as uncomfortable and confused as me.

Last year was worse than this year because last year I had to stand up and give a wave. Very awkward and embarrassing. This year I didn't stand up. I stayed in my seat and tried to will myself to disappear.

Jake lied.

Cindy caught Jake in his first lie.

He was playing with the kitchen drawers and he got his finger caught in the drawer. He started to cry and ran over for a hug.

A few minutes later he went back to the drawers. Cindy was watching him. This time he faked hurting himself and ran over for a hug.

My son has discovered the joy of lying.

***

Another cute thing he does is direct our gaze by pulling our face in the direction he wants us to look- which is mostly at him.

The other day he was sitting on my lap while we watched Youtube. I guess he was signing for a certain song and I was watching the computer. He gently grabbed my face and turned it toward him so that I could see his signing.

Why we're all fat.

We consume more calories than we burn. The extra calories are added to our body as fat stores. That's the simplest, easiest and most accurate description about why we're fat.

I just came back from the grocery store and noted that a hummus and flatbread snack pack, 110 calories, cost $2.19

A large bag of sun chips, 980 calories, cost $2.99.

Per calorie, junk food is shockingly cheap. Another reason why we're all fat.

Many activities are sedentary. Think surfing the internet, working in an office, watching a movie, watching television.

Our government cut school sports funding by 100% this year. A week a ago they came out with a report saying elementary-aged kids are fatter than ever.

More reasons why we're fat.

The most serious holiday.

I wrote in an older blog post that Remembrance Day was the saddest and most solemn of all holidays.

Mother's Day is the most serious of all holidays. If you don't honour your mother, you're in big trouble. She will be devastated. Mothers take this day very, very seriously.

On the flip side, father's day isn't much of a big deal. Half the cards are gag cards making fun of fathers' incompetence and farting problems. Dads don't care.

Mother's Day is the only day that galvanizes men everywhere. For every other holiday, we let our wives take care of the festivities. But for mothers day, we actually have to make an effort.

For example, a friend and I once agreed that if there were no women on earth, all holidays would simply die out - because men wouldn't care enough to keep them going. Perhaps mother's day would be the only exception - we'd keep mother's day alive to honour the women who no longer exist on earth.

Do you ever? (part 1)

1) Do you ever just want to buy a bunch of paper plates and cups and plastic forks and just eat off them for a few weeks so you don't have to bother with the dishes?

2) Do you ever want to make the crybaby face when someone honks and yells while driving?

3) Do you ever want to scream in the ear of the person in front of the line who's taking an hour to buy 20 different lottery tickets and bonus numbers, "YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!"

4) Do you ever use calendar dates to determine what clothes to wear? Like after April 15th, no matter how cold it is, you will no longer wear a jacket. After June 1st, you will always wear shorts?

5) Do you ever secretly wish that the oil spill in the Gulf will never be stopped until the entire Gulf of Mexico fills with oil and kills every marine animal?

Countries with natural resources are not necessarily rich.

I often hear people say that Canada has a bright future because we have lots of natural resources.

Unfortunately, there's not a clear link between natural resources and wealth. Look at African countries rich in diamonds. Look at south Asian countries rich in gold.

Look at middle eastern countries rich in oil. Low standard of living and widespread poverty.

Here are two quotes supporting this statement.*

"There is a striking correlation between a country's level of human capital and its economic well-being. At the same time, there is a striking lack of correlation between natural resources and standard of living." p. 106.

"Economists believe that a rich endowment of natural resources may actually be a detriment to development." p. 222

*Source:

Naked economics: undressing the dismal science by Charles Wheelan.

Who's going to pay for the oil spill?

British Petroleum (BP) is getting a lot of heat for the latest environmental disaster. Twenty-five thousand barrels of oil are gushing into the Gulf of Mexico, every day.

I haven't been following the story very well. I did hear that President Obama said, "BP is responsible for this leak and will be paying the bill."

Really?? BP is going to pay the bill. Don't mind my skepticism, but did the wall street banks pay the bill for their shady business practices, which brought down the economy?

No, of course not. The taxpayer paid the bill.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that BP will not be paying the whole cleanup bill. Sure, they'll pay a little. Not all of it though.

Obama said, "We're going to do everything in our power to protect our natural resources, compensate those who have been harmed, rebuild what has been damaged and help this region persevere like it has done so many times before."

US taxpayers better hold on to their wallets.

My boss and I wore the same clothes yesterday.

Ewww, this is a gross story. Apparently my boss and I wore the same clothes yesterday to work, strictly by accident.

I swear I didn't phone her and ask her what she was wearing so we could coordinate our wardrobe.

I didn't even realize it until halfway through the day. She sits behind me so I rarely turn around and look at her. I only discovered it when I met her in the hallway on the way back from the bathrooms.

She said, "Nice shirt!" We were wearing the same shirt.

I looked at her pants, but they were different. Thank goodness.

I'm slumming it a work.

When I go to rich companies for job interviews I realize how much I'm slumming it in my current job.

Today I had a job interview at a huge auction company - a company that makes billions and billions of dollars. Their building was like a glass palace. They had an in-house cafeteria, daycare and fitness room.

They had glass elevators and huge walkways and giant pillars. They had LCD monitors embedded in the glass for chrissakes.

Here, I work out of a classroom in an old elementary school that's closing in a month and a half. The fluorescent lights in the classroom hum. My boss sits so close to me that I can hear her breathe. The hallways smell like chemical disinfectant.

There are no LCD monitors embedded in the glass, but there are stick-figure paintings of people and animals pinned to bulletin boards along hallways.

I now judge people based on their parental skills.

You know you're getting old when you start judging people on whether they're good parents.

We had some friends over for lunch last Sunday. We had never met the husband, but afterward we judged him as a cool person and friend-worthy because he was a "good dad."

Before kids, you judge people on their sense of humor or personality or generosity.

After kids, you judge them on what kind of parent they are.

Good parent means good person. Bad parent means bad person. It's a nice, easy way to simply, and it seems intuitively accurate.

If there's someone we don't like, but he or she seems like a good parent we have to qualify our judgement. "I don't like him - but he is a good Dad. So I'll give him that much."

Our babysitter can't handle Jake.

So we found out this weekend that our babysitter can no longer handle Jake. This was the person we were planning to have take care of Jake for a couple days when the baby is born.

She could handle him when he was one, but she doesn't seem to be able to handle his terrible twos phase.

We dropped him off at her house over the weekend and when we came back 7 hours later, he hadn't eaten or drank anything. He has been balling his eyes out. He had been inconsolable.

What happened? Why didn't he get fed? She said, "I didn't want to upset him anymore." Apparently he went on a hunger strike and she didn't push him.

Well Jake needs to be pushed. A lot. Sometimes downright forced. We often need to "help" him eat by holding him still and putting the food in his mouth for him.

We don't expect our babysitters to do that, but we do expect an attempt. How can we drop him off at her house for 2 days? He needs food and drink, and we don't want her hooking him up to the feeding pump.

Grrr. So frustrating...

Big lips.

I saw a clear picture of the baby's face. It has HUGE, HUGE lips. Like we're talking Angelina Jolie's lips.

Maybe it's a girl - with lips like that. Or perhaps it's a boy and he'll simply grow into those lips.

We saw one of those 3D scans. The hospital has the new machine. (Last time with Jake we paid $50 for one of these scans to find out the gender. You could also buy a full tour with videos and pictures and order DVDs.)

Cindy has skinny lips. I have one skinny lip and one fat lip. My top lip is basically non existent it's so skinny. My bottom lip is a bit fat. Cindy's family has skinny or normal-sized lips.

My family has skinnyish lips, I think. I don't really remember because I don't spend a lot of time looking at people's lips.

Is this actually a benefit of a job?

Last week during my telephone interview, when we were discussing salary, she told me a range which was too low.

I told her this and she said, "Oh but don't worry, that doesn't include overtime!" She said it brightly, excitedly, like this was a huge benefit.

I said, "Pardon?"

She said, "Most companies don't pay you for overtime, but we do. That will push your salary up to your range!"

So let me get this straight. The salary is low but if I work extra long hours, I'll have an average salary? In other words, I get to work longer and harder for an average salary and this is a benefit!!! Wow!! Sounds like an amazing place to work!

The only problem is I want to work smarter not harder. I don't want a job that requires working long hours and weekends just to earn what everyone else in the industry is already making.

It's beyond me why they think this is actually a benefit. But I've come to expect that many corporations and human resources people choose to be deluded.