Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I had to buy my boss a birthday card and it was super hard.

I didn't think it would be so tough. I mean, a card's a card.

But to find one for your boss is different. It can't be overly-familiar, and that rules out 75% of the cards. It can't be humorous because your boss can't share your warped sense of humour.

It can't be sappy because that would be too kiss-ass.

The other cards are for husbands and wives and kids and nephews. Or they're money-holders. And I ain't given my boss money.

So I stood there like a moron for ten minutes, like I cared about which card I got him.

Finally I settled on a lame, generic card that said "Happy birthday and all that jazz" and had a cartoon character playing a saxophone.

Still, birthday cards are totally worth it. There's nothing else that quite says, "I wish you a happy birthday but I don't care enough to put a lot of energy into anything so here's a card."

A birthday card is the perfect amount of politeness. It's the bare minimum birthday standard, and it's an excellent subsitute for a real gift.

You don't even have to put any creativity into it. Someone else, whom you will never know or never meet - likely in India, wrote that poem or joke that you are now sending your loved one.

The only down side is that it's a waste of paper. When I get a card I pretty much want to throw it in recycling right then and there unless it contains a note or a picture. I find cards ugly, and people who hang their Christmas cards in their window blinds are ugly people.

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