1) I hate it when you've just bought something on your credit card and they print the receipt for you to sign and the GODDAMN thing is curly. It curls up in a little ball and you have to straighten it with one hand just to sign it. The paper is so cheap and flimsy and you can hardly see the text! We can send people to the moon and we can't print out a receipt that's worth wiping my ass on!
2) Speaking of credit cards, I HATE it when they send you letters asking you to pay $50 for enhanced security on your card to protect against thieves. Or they phone you after you make a large purchase just to double check your card is valid - BUT then they mail you blank cheques every 2 weeks with your name and credit card number printed all over them! Any joe can steal your mail or steal the cheques from your garbage. I have to shred the bloody things! Idiots! If you truly care about my security don't send blank cheques in the mail - especially since I've never used one in the last 14 years I've had my credit card!!! My face is bright red right now I'm so mad.
3) When people try to look at the cover of the book or magazine that you're carrying. It's none of their business what you're reading! That's why I always turn the cover inside toward my body. Let them strain their vision trying to read the small type at the back of the book. May their eyes tear up in pain!
4) When people say, "I have no regrets." What!! Everyone has regrets. Are you just too cool to admit it? I hate you for living the perfect life. Everything about you is perfect and all your decisions have been perfect. IDIOT!
5) I hate it when you're in a hurry and you press the wheelchair button on a door so you don't have to open the door yourself, and the mechanism is so SLOW. The door moves a centimeter an hour and you're just standing there, tapping your foot, waiting for the automatic door to open, and you're realizing that you should have just opened the door with your hand, so you grab the door to pull it more open - to help it along - but the door is stiff and resistant because it's on "automatic" mode now and it's robotically moving open at a certain rate. God I hate that.
Read "Things I Hate" part 1
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