I'm reading Nurtureshock : new thinking about children by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman. The latest parenting research shows that there's a certain way you should praise your kids.
Basically, you should be sparing in your praise. Overpraising tends to be ineffective after awhile. Kids take it for granted.
You shouldn't praise them by saying how smart they are. That gives them a complex and makes them afraid to try new things because they might fail. Instead, you should praise their effort.
You should be specific in your praise. Instead of, "You're such a good boy" or "You played really well", you should be more constructive. "I liked how you listened to me!" and "Great running!" It gives kids an idea what they should improve.
You should praise your children intermittently, rather than all the time. It's more effective. (Like slot machines with random payouts at a casino.)
Doing the above sounds easy, but it actually pretty tough for parents. We equate praise with basically telling our kids we love them. So we do it too much, and all the time. It makes us feel better about our parenting skills. And generally we're taught that we should improve our kids' self-esteem. Praising is an easy way to do this.
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Saying "I liked how...." might not be such a good idea if you do it all the time. You are teaching the child to do things that please you. I like praising the effort but instead of saying " I liked how ....." you could say "you tried really hard" or "you did a good job" You are then verbalizing what hopefully he will internalize.
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